some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
