oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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