U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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