i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
