i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
