just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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