I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.