ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.