when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Are we in a gay sports bar?
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
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it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
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I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.