I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
