Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!