Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Randomize
