the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
