I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
