Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
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Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
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I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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