we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
