In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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