do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
