too bad you live with your parents still
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
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My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
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I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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