I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Randomize
