let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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