i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
