was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
