My room smells like vodka and shame
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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