it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize
