so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
