if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
soo... how was my night?
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