I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
