So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
The adults are the big ones right?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
