We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
