ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
