Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
