umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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