You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
