Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
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5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
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I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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