you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
