WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
