i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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