So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
