If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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