Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
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I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
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Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
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