honey bunches of taint.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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