So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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