Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
