eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
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Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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