Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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