We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
