if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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