What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Randomize
