Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
