hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
