btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Randomize
