The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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