I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
