i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
