I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i came on her dog
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
