I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
