Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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