I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
