Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
