if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
