he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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