If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
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