Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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