i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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